Colton has a little skin tag on his ear so we took him to the plastic surgeon today to talk about getting it removed.
Here is how it went: Well first the Dr. asks who the patient is- I point to the little one :-)
And he says, "Oh I can see why already, and I see several issues"-- I am like WHAT?! He proceed to point out the ripples along the cartlidge on his ear. First, I didn't even notice those as a "defect" and secondly, who is going to "fix" those a baby?
Obviously, we only discussed his skin tag today. Which we can't do the sting thing because there is cartlidge in the skin tag, so it will need to be cut off.
He said we can either do it with him awake, or put him sleep. I really do not want my baby under anastesia, but I also do not want him to go through the trama of being held down for this minor procedure, so we opted to put him under for the surgrey. He will not need an IV or anything and the surgrey will take no more than 5 minutes. He will have the surgrey done in April, so he will be 9 months old.
Well- for those of you who know me IRL, you probably noticed I have birthmarks, and a lot of them. So that was brought up today at the plastic surgeon's office. He actually noticed and thought I was breaking out in hives-- like most people do.
I talked to him about having them lasered off. Well- it would be WAY too expensive for me to pay for it, so he is going to submit it to my insurance for review. If they accept, which he doubts they will, than I will DEFINITELY have my birthmarks removed.
I was thinking today, if they were removed, how much it would change my life. If you do not have birthmarks like mine, than you do not know AT ALL what I am talking about. And it is easy for the doctor and Hubby to say :: they are barely noticable:: ::you are lucky it is as light as it is:: and I am lucky that my birthmarks are not darker or on my face or worse-- but it is still something I have had to live with for 22 years.
Okay, back to WHY I it would change my life. You know when you meet someone who has a deformity or a scar or what ever and you do not mean to stare or you purposely look away. This is how I feel ALL THE TIME- at first people do not notice the "purple arm" or the red splotchy back, but it only takes a few minutes and they do. They almost like "study" it, wonder what is "wrong" with my arm. Some rude people come out and ask, "is something wrong with your arm" or will say "I think you have a rash" or I love this one in the summer time "You must have been out in the sun, you have sunburn"-- no it's not sunburn because this never goes away.
I do not feel like an "ugly" person- I think I am an average looking girl, but I FEEL like people look at me like something is wrong with me.
I wish I knew what it was like to BE a normal person all my life, and not have "over 1000 cms" of birth mark on my body-- and the Dr didn't even see my leg, or the Birthmark on my breast-- I think I would have had much more self esteem, and felt much better about myself during those awkward teenage years.
I prayed EVERYDAY that my son would not have birthmarks like mine. And I AM LUCKY he doesn't. In my eyes, he is perfect and I AM LUCKY to have him.
All I can do is pray that the insurance will cover the surgrey, because I have been waiting 22 years to be "normal".